Long gone thong…

I found a picture of myself 4 years ago! I looked hot as! (in my opinion) damn it I was chizled and had abs haha I wish I’d of appreciated it more at the time…(Okay I admit it…this is not my booty obvs!)

Now I’m the size of a house end and wonder I will ever get into a leather skirt again. Will I ever not wear Big Bridget Jones knickers? When did I transition into choosing comfort over looking sexy.

At school it was the in thing to wear a thong and we would pull them right up our back to make a statement. Every Thursday me and my friend would go to top shop and buy the 3 for 2 thongs before band practice…we were so cool. You wouldn’t catch me in a thong now, it would get chewed up by my butt cheeks and have the appearance of dental floss.

It’s a funny thing because your body changes so much after having a baby. And yes I do look back and think oh how lovely and slim I was…but I was never happy with my body. I wasn’t unhappy and I’ve never really been bothered for dieting or ever overly obsessed about it…I just got on with it.

But 3 kids later….the first time in my life I feel like I’m a proper adult woman and I understand that you can’t just eat what the hell you want and get away with it.

I mean I used to eat a KFC probably every other day and never even think about it…not cool at all lol (who am I kidding pretty much still do, don’t do it kids)

Saying all this and thinking yes my boobs are now like dogs ears…

When you have had babies you don’t really have time to think about your self as much but it gives you a weird confidence in a way. I know it sounds daft but it does. It’s like the focus isn’t on you but the babies so it’s less pressure in a way and it’s a given because you have had kids.

Of course I have had my melt downs. After Freddie was born I went into JD sports and tried on some Adidas leggings which when I put them on turned from black to see through. Tom spent the next half hour sat on a bench with me in Kingsgate where I sobbed uncontrollably because of my fat saggy arse body. ‘But Stephy….you did only have a baby a week ago?!….’ 😂😂😂

Since then I’ve got pregnant again and been pregnant for the last 5 years (okay Tom I will amend..slight exaggeration…more like 3 years as i didn’t know Tom 5 years ago nor do I have a 5 year old son) I’m not even sure what my body is anymore, when not pregnant. I dunno what size I am, dunno my bra size.. I tend to just go for the baggy look and live in leggings. Your perception in your mind becomes distorted because to you…you are still you…yes you are different but you are still you. I think that’s part of the struggle for mums post-partum, it’s feeling sense of yourself again. I think it’s perfectly normal, if only we talked about it more.

I am happy with my body though and don’t feel the pressure quite as much as a 30 something Mum. Even on holiday I don’t care that I have a belly, I feel quite proud and mum like an adult lol. I always think I try and look nice and I’ve gone back to feeling the same now. I will do slimming world after this baby and try get my shape back and be healthier but it isn’t my main focus.

What I’m trying to say is don’t beat yourself up momma, be proud of your body and who you are because you are just as beautiful. Can you relate?

I probably won’t have time to eat running around after 3 babies anyway….

Pray for me 😂💕🙏🏻 xxxx

….Loved Sisqo