Let’s Talk About Post Natal Depression
Emma’s Diary Well-being Advice
The moment your little bundle of Joy enters the world, you are overcome with a mixture of emotions…but what if the Joy just isn’t there?
How could I say this you ask? But it is true for a lot of mums out there that they don’t feel the ‘Joy’. Maybe at first or maybe not. But as weeks go by something comes over you, like a huge cloud. You find yourself lost, a none entity and your struggling to understand what on earth this is.
I remember relating to all the films about birth and having a baby. Yes it looks painful, to be expected. The way birth is portrayed it’s not always true. Birth can be a traumatic experience for some and it certainly was for me and many mums. When my first born came it was nothing how I expected it to be and having had to be rushed to theatre, it didn’t go to plan at all. I remember feeling numb, I couldn’t hold my baby because Id had a anaesthetic spinal injection and I was exhausted. I felt an overwhelming responsibility to this new life, it was so much to deal with, I didn’t feel good enough.
￼I put on a brave face and threw myself into motherhood trying to do everything so perfectly. I carried on breastfeeding as long as I could but I simply couldn’t do it, then the shame came because I was so tired and I just wanted help….but I didn’t ask. I was ashamed to ask, because then they would know, they would know that I was a fraud, that I wasn’t coping.
I kept the ‘perfect mum act’ on for about 3 months. That’s when the anxiety hit me like a tight fist to my chest, churning around, racing thoughts.
Anger, sadness, confusion, happy, tired, numb, overwhelmed, underwhelmed, high, low, up and down, nightmares, dark thoughts, mood swings, crying, laughing, bored, irritated. These are just some of the emotions I experienced. I felt unstable.
‘Well-being is so different for us all. I think especially as a new parent you have to try and understand your new normal. It’s okay to feel all sorts of new emotions. I remember feeling completely out of sorts, like I didn’t recognise my own life. Anger, guilt, love, sadness, Joy, Anxiety, Irritational thoughts, Depression, Lonely but never alone, Happy, fulfilled, unfulfilled, wanting to run away, yet not wanting to leave the house.’
It was like nothing I had experienced before. I became paranoid, delusional and ultimately depressed. I stopped going out and stop socialising. I knew then that something was wrong. I went to the doctors and was diagnosed with post natal depression, I was put on citalopram an antidepressant. I didn’t want to take medication because of the stigma attached to mental health and I also didn’t want to become dependent on a tablet essentially. The medication really helped and I would take it forever as long as it means I can function. It’s not cure all don’t get me wrong but it did help with the anxiety and panic I was experiencing. There are other types of medication and therapy out there.
From my experience I wish I had spoken out sooner and got the help I needed. It is very normal to feel down after giving birth but when it starts to effect your life and take over that’s when something needs to be done. Just because you feel down it does not mean you don’t love your baby, a lot of the time it is a combination of lack of sleep, hormones and the fact that it is such a huge responsibility and change to your life. One thing to know is that you are not on your own and don’t be so hard on yourself. Listen to your body, be honest with yourself and your close ones about how you are feeling. You are a very important person and your well-being is a priority.
If you or anyone you know maybe be suffering from post natal depression please follow the link to Emma’s Diary for more details
As Mother’s Day is just around the corner we have prepared an amazing give away for one lucky mum. What could be a better prize for a wellbeing theme than SPA? This is a much needed and deserved break for any mummy
As part of Emma’s Diary’s New Well-being Campaign I will be running a competition for one lucky mum to win a spa break!
Banya No1 Unique Russian Spa Experience for 2 in Central London! (FYI Justin Bieber and Kate Moss are regulars!)
Check it out
The prize is provided by Banya No. 1. Banya No.1 is the first of its kind in the UK and brings Russia’s oldest and most popular wellness traditions to the capital. Being not your typical spa experience, it features authentic Russian steam sauna, plunge pool, hot stone and treatment rooms and a Rest & Relaxation area with traditional food & drinks. It’s social as well as private. The key signature treatment is Parenie – an invigorating thermal massage, that uses leafy and fragrant bundle of birch, oak or eucalyptus twigs.
The prize will include 3-hour off-peak session for 2, including two treatments each (Parenie and Scrub) and a pot of herbal tea.
TO ENTER: Go to Instagram and follow instructions on my post @for_the_motherofsons
This competition ends on the Sunday the 22nd (Mother’s Day) at 1000am GMT. The Winner will be announced within 48 hours. This competition is for UK only. This giveaways is not endorsed, administered or sponsored by Instagram.
Check out the well-being campaign at
Good Luck! ✨ Stay Well 💕
Stephy Stokes (@for_the_motherofsons)
Parent Squad Emma’s Diary