FUN on the Farm…

I love going on days out with the boys! It’s even better when it all goes smoothly and everyone has a nice time and no major dramas. There is always so much pressure on you as a mum to get it right all the time. I know it might not always be the case but from my experience no matter how helpful dad is, it always seems to fall on Mum to keep it all together, the glue if you like. (And that is no diss to dads! Tom would agree with me. Dad does an amazing job and I can’t speak for others)

I digress a moment… Growing up you eventually realise your mum is a person as-well… when I was a youngster mine and my best friends mum once forgot our browny promise and didn’t turn up to our recorder concert (‘we were there girls…just watching from outside the hall’) recorder concert…can hardly blame them haha me and my mum have laughed about it since!

I mean as mums we ain’t superwoman we are normal human beings! And for some mums like me…we can be naturally gormless and clumsy (it’s in my genetic code)…still we didn’t think we would turn into our own mothers one day….(She will hate me for saying that but it’s kinda true or at least some traits)

The first of December a day to remember! Good spirits and time for Christmas cheer.

What a lovely time to take the kids to see Santa…none other than the annual nursery trip to the farm….

Santa’s naughty list of mum f””k ups…

Number 1… getting lost…sat nav decides to take a rural route in the opposite direction

Number 2…been late

Number 3… been late again not getting ticket in time resulting in isolation from nursery group

Number 4…wearing knee high brown boots to a Santa event…no sir I do not work here and I won’t bring you a coffee I am just trying to find a toilet in this breakfast club grotto.

Number 5…finally sat calmly and not realising your 10 month old is no longer visible…yes Freddie had slipped nearly out of high chair and was clinging onto table for dear life…

Number 6…finally enjoy a nice coffee….remember to move said coffee away from 10 month old…(all over floor) thankfully not on him

Number 7….I didn’t realise I had to wear a Christmas jumper and put kids in matching…Henry had to make do with his fire engine 🚒 jumper….at least it had red on it?!?!

Number 8…forgetting to get the boys calendars out the garage

Number 9…accidentally eating the entire contents of 2 selection boxes when I had no treats in the house this last week

Number 10….there is no number 10!….no wait…I’ve remembered… I haven’t bought an ‘elf on the shelf’ I simply can not be arsed….and they probs too young lol…give it a few years and I’ll probs be an ambassador for it (my temperament is some what hypocritical) but for now I hate that elf for no apparent reason okay

Despite all this… the boys had a great day out and loved getting a present from Santa and we also had a good time as-well….when we got back to the car we were drenched..not so much for the weather in the rain….Henry insisted we see every corner of the farm.

….Fair enough it wasn’t the ‘perfect’ day but describe perfect?!…. these are your times with your children…do you think they care if you are the perfect mum all the time? No…does every outing have to be perfect? No…it’s what you make of it and make the best of it because believe it these little guys ain’t little forever and I know it’s hard work sometimes momma but oh it so will be worth it in the end and all the memories you have with your little ones…well it’s priceless…so stop worrying about all the times you may or may not f***k up because the bigger picture is so much more important. So If you do happen to ‘f**k up’ (obviously all be it not too seriously) laugh at yourself and remember perfection does not exist (a few people would argue this..) but remember to Have FUN And actually to your little ones you are superwoman 💕🙌🏻 xxx

Has anyone else found that since having a baby going to the supermarket on your own is like an actual treat…like it’s something to look forward to?..I don’t mind going with the kids but there’s something about that freedom you have again when you can just look around a shop you know what I mean?…….just me? Yes I think I am that sad and clearly need to revalidate my life….

Honestly though, my local Sainsbury’s has become a social event for me!…..it’s my new Saturday night out!!!….it’s like an old friend to me since having kids, my safe space for five minutes peace.

I remember when Henry was first born and I was feeling all sorts of mixed emotions, I felt under pressure to go to the gym so I got ready and said to Tom I’m off….I got in the car and instead of going to the gym I just drove to Sainsbury’s car park and cried, then listened to some music and chilled out then went home haha what a work out! And what a weirdo lolol……I think I just needed to think on my own and process what was actually going on…..lack of sleep with a new born was probably a lot to do with it.

My mum (aka Grandmother of Sons) comes up after work to see the me and the boys and it’s like a life line, I can have half an hour to go to Sainsbury’s and get some tea (or dinner, sorry it’s a Yorkshire thing) and it really breaks the day up, especially if it’s been one of those days with tantrums and tears! (…Not just the babies 😂🙈).

It’s great! I get to mooch around, I have a conversation at the check out with an adult and I feel part of society again! They know the boys as well as I often walk down and it’s nice, one of the ladies dog is called Freddie so she always remembers his name. Only thing is I seem to spend most of my money on that Sainsbury’s, you go in for one thing and end up spending £50 lol (maybe it’s a conspiracy) haha but I hear they are building a Lidl down the road soon so maybe I can save a few pounds.

Maybe you have a place you go to chill out and feel normal again, it might not be the supermarket it could be anywhere. Whatever helps and gets you through those days….

WOW what have you just witnessed and read?! Haha not cool at all! But It is what it is….living it up them shopping aisles and funding the economy! 😂🙈🙌🏻💕Xxxx

I love Labour stories! I love watching one born every minute. It’s amazing how diverse we all are and how different it can all be when it comes to the point of giving birth….you watch it sometimes and we all have are own judgements and opinions but what I find intriguing is who ever you are, what ever your birth story I always end up crying and feeling emotional when the baby is born. It is that compassion and empathy we feel as human beings that unites us.

Some mums don’t want to talk about their experience…better forgotten (I don’t think you ever forget really) Some mums want to tell the world and you all about their story, war and peace…with all the gory details…whilst your sat nodding and when it’s your time to share your Labour story it appears times up (yours didn’t happen) well mine was….’mine was like this…well mine was with an epidural….well mine was with zero pain relief hanging from a floating suspension…..’ you get the gist??

A fellow mum pal of mine had a C-section and she said to me that she wished she had a normal birth because she felt cheated for not having the full ‘labour’ experience of the ‘hard graft’ and ‘pushing’…..C-sections aren’t easy and pose their own risk and recovery afterwards.

Another friend had planned to have a home water birth….she ended up in hospital with an epidural and the full works. It was what was necessary to deliver the baby safely.

If I can bore you with my Labour stories for a moment….

The look…. hair extensions done….nails done….nice nightgown check….tan….😂 yes expectation vs reality again…I’m going to look like a movie star giving a gentle push and we all Going to gather round, i kiss my husband and welcome the new angel in my life…..yeah right….try zombie from the walking dead…

….Or patsy worst hangover of your life! Minus the cigarette (it’s bad for mum and baby but is does symbolise what I felt like)

2 weeks early…..With my first my waters broke and nothing happened for 48 hours. I ended up in hospital and before they induced me I opted for the epidural. I wanted ZERO pain….problem is it stopped working. I went from 0 pain to full on transition pain within minutes and no matter how hard I pushed nothing happened. I ended up in theatre with a spinal injection (it was amazing I couldn’t feel my body from the head down, safe to say I was in a much calmer space and loved everyone haha) I had an episiotomy (they cut me yes) and out came Henry. Pain wise it was fine….I wasn’t ready for the recovery afterwards though…I couldn’t feel my body as I said….Tom had to feed me toast (8 slices after, it was bloody lovely that hospital toast)…..I couldn’t hold Henry though he had to just lay on me. The midwives were fab. As soon as I could move in the morning I wiped the Cather out (at some point I had a Catheter in?) and got a shower did my make up and was like okay let’s do this…had to stay overnight. We got a pizza.

Seconds pregnancy, Freddie was born rather quickly…

The look…..I didn’t care!! Although I did manage to get my primark nightgown on just before it kicked off…

10 days over!!! (Hell!) With my second I was really chilled about the Labour, id just done a course in reiki and was really into the positive vibes and Hypno birth concept. I did meditation. At around 35 weeks I kept thinking I was going into labour and for some reason my contractions always came on when I was doing the asda shop (weird…) still stoping and starting. When the day finally arrived I didn’t even know if I was in labour, I’d phoned the maternity unit the night before and was using a tens machine (they are fab!!) for the contractions and having bath in between but still felt alright and not like labour (or my expectation of labour). I tucked into another pizza that night lol (pizza and labour combo). In the morning I nearly told Tom to go to work but something told me no! Within half an hour my mum came up and we were on the bypass to the hospital….Labour in full swing….OUCH was an understatement. I got to the unit expecting them to tell me to go home because I’m such a wuss but she said I was 6 cm dilated….I was thrilled and thought I was amazing haha take that!! Within 10 more minutes I was on my hands and knees, waters broke and baby was coming!! I demanded an epidural and any pain relief going…too late 10cm….S**T!!! (Literally….oh you know 🙈) gas and air was my only friend and 20 minutes later Freddie was born! It was amazing just like you would imagine on one born every minute. I was buzzing!!! I felt back to normal. The recovery was much better, I was back at netball 10 days later….(not cool at all…resulted in what led to a dislocated knee and an early retirement 😬) …..

I’m due in March 2019 and the midwife has asked me how I want to labour….you did so well last time…we going for natural?…….erm NO just because I could do it without pain relief does not make me not want to have pain relief….it’s as if there is abit of stigma for wanting to be pain free! And yes of course I want to do what is best for baby! But given the choice for me personally it’s pain free all the way!!! But that’s it, I may or may not get that choice, I dunno how this labour will be as they all seem to be different each time. Whatever happens all I hope is that baby and myself have a safe delivery however he/she decides to come into the world.

I don’t want to get too deep and I would never want to offend anyone it is not my intention but I think it’s important to remember that labour all be it amazing,pain-free, terrifying, Horrendous, excruciating,liberating, embarrassing, comical, emotional,brutal, painful,spiritual…whatever it is to you….we much appreciate it for what it is…. to be able to be in labour…to bring life into the world and we are blessed when it goes right as for many there are complications, some people experience miscarriage, some people can’t have children and some experience still birth.

Labour is unique to everyone. We can have ideas of what it might be, how we would like it to go but the truth is we have very little control over how it will happen..or…..when it could happen for that matter. I pray I have a safe delivery this time round and I hope everyone pregnant or in labour is safe and has a safe delivery. All the best,

Tell your own story xxxx

Do you ever think about your life before children? Who you were? How life could be different?

I often feel melancholy about my former life or should I say former ‘self’ as nothing prepares you for the transition into becoming a mum. I look at the first picture, feelings of excitement and feeling so special. I was blissfully naive to the unknown…me and my baby. It will be fine we will go out for lunch and I will show you off to the world and play ‘the mummy’. Little do we know reality has a funny way of creeping into the somewhat honey moon period of becoming a new mum.

Mine hit me probably around a few months after Henry was born, after all the hype had gone and Tom had gone back to work. I was suddenly alone with this little human and it dawned on me…wow I am responsible for this little life!…..forever!!!

I found the reality hard, I often remembered times when I had no responsibility. I honestly wasn’t enjoying being a mum at first and found it hard work. I longed to be my fun self again, I longed more than anything to have a lie in and nap! I thought I was tired in pregnancy or even before I had a baby I would feel tired….not like this though. People tried to tell me but I was wearing my pregnancy rose tinted spectacles.

It was awful feeling like this because no one really talks about the reality and you would see other mums out and about and think wow they really got it together you know! Along with the feeling of inadequacy came the guilt for not loving my new role as much as I should. I missed my job, I knew my role there, I felt important like I was making a difference. I didn’t feel like I was good to anyone after having a baby. I had nothing interesting to say and I was knackered to be honest…

Time went on and the first night out post baby came around. YES! Child free night out on the town, alcohol. Got my hair done, got my outfit out, got my drink on, met the girls….it was like the old times…Except! I wasn’t the old me. The drink in my hand didn’t quite taste the same. I missed my house, I missed baby. I felt out of sorts. I felt anxious! My friend (also recent post baby) and I at the time went home early….She wouldn’t mind me saying but I remembered My best friend had a baby when she was younger and she would often come out and say she missed her son on nights out and I used to think what?! Get a grip! Haha I totally understood it now.

Time has gone on and it does get easier. I tried to fight the inevitable at first…but I am and always will be a mum now, not just steph. Obviously I am still me but I am a different person and probably for the better to be honest but change is hard and adjusting to a new part of your life is often hard and nothing to be ashamed of. It does not mean you don’t love your new found motherhood or your baby it just means you are learning and transitioning into new territory. My advise to anyone out there embarking on this new territory would be to embrace it! Ask for help! And don’t be afraid of how you are feeling, there are many other mums who are in the same position and may be feeling the same so reach out. Be kind to yourself and realise that you are doing an amazing job, although it might seem like Groundhog Day at times.

I look at the second picture, the reality that is now. I am Steph the mum, I love my babies more than anything. I’ve joined a new party with my very own crew and It ain’t all bad, you might even say I look pretty gangster (apology’s 😂). The party goes on…..just mum style xxxxx

When Henry was about 18 months I started thinking about potty training (probs too young?…I dunno) I realised I did not have a clue how a baby can go from nappies to using the toilet. It completely baffled me. I did the usual, started looking on google etc reading up about it and got more confused as a mum what I should be doing. I asked my friends, most had different takes on it and stories. I came to the conclusion that there is no right and wrong way and every child is different. I don’t think there is any specific age to start in theory and most articles I read suggested that your child will let you know. It’s important not to put too much pressure on them. I have found getting Henry familiar with the potty helped and the toilet time book was most helpful! It is not too expensive and had a guide to parents as-well as a book for your child and reward chart with stickers. Pirate Pete hasn’t had much of an impact really. I’ve heard that a musical potty exists also, so that could be fun. As you can see Henry’s chart is a little more exaggerated if I’m totally honest as he really likes stickers lol but he has managed a good few times now on his own. when he has done I have made a massive fuss and given him lots a praise!!….I think just take it as it comes, don’t stress about it and just be patient. Expect accidents to happen as they will and have faith that it will happen in time when they are ready. We have a way to go so if I discover anything else I will let you know. Hope this helps anyone who has worried about it…Good luck with whatever means and ways you decide…Potty on!….

Hi My Name is Stephy-Louise.  I have been Inspired by other mum bloggers and friends to start blogging about my daily life as a mum of two boys…soon to be 3! I would like to introduce you to my little boys Thomas ‘Henry’ Oscar (Age 2 years) and Frederick ‘Freddie’ Rupert George (10 Months). Sooo yes… third baby is on the way! And I believe it to be another boy! (I was told both sexes at different scans but I won’t go on about that story)…yes that will be 3 babies….under 3!!! I know what you may be thinking ‘she must be mad’…quite possibly but I’ll let you decide. Motherhood has not come easy to me despite appearances, I have struggled with post partum depression and anxiety also very often feel the fatigue of living with a chronic illness, Crohn’s Disease (No violins please I am probably just as knackered as other mums out there irrespective, but I am wanting to reach out to anyone who may be in a similar situation and help in some way)……Any way I live in Yorkshire…(sunny Huddersfield) with my husband Tom. We met at work him a doctor and I a nurse (cliche or what)… after a whirlwind romance we were pregnant and married within the year. We have family in London and just up the Road (thank god!)…. Fast forward to life now, family of 4 soon to be 5. Loving Life as a yummy mummy!!! 😂 (cringe). currently a former nurse and stay at home mum. The transition from full time work to full time motherhood has been overwhelming to say the least but I’m pretty much in the thick of it now and I am going to enjoy my journey as much as I can. With that said I’m giving this blogging a bash. Welcome to my Life as a Mother Of Sons 🦖💕 xxxx