The I can’t be arsed Christmas guide for mums who can’t be arsed BUT have to be arsed because it’s Christmas…and you got kids now. (And you love it really)

The I can’t be arsed Christmas guide for mums who can’t be arsed BUT have to be arsed because it’s Christmas…and you got kids now. (And you love it really)

Long are the days I used to go Christmas shopping in town and come back with presents…for myself…OBVIOUSLY it’s magical and I can be bothered of course it’s just a lot of planning and expense and sometimes we spend so much time stressing that we actually miss the whole point of Christmas..yes the presents! Of course but what about the true meaning…

Christmas doing your head in? Anxious 10/10? just can’t seem to get the list down?

10 Christmas hacks I used to live by before becoming a responsible parent…

1. Become a planetarium -I’m not doing gifts this year to save the planet. All the waste and the plastic and the fumes from Santa’s slay it’s not worth it. Save the planet the world is a gift, savour it…always respect the ocean.

2. can’t think what to buy my dad yet again or my grandad or any man in our family yet again…get down to boots 3 for 2 they have a fab selection of lynx and socks just for a change.

3. forgot someone?…sainsburys is great for the forgotten gift, they even do vouchers…you could always improvise and give your friends the gross scraf your Gran gave you.

4. In laws. Enough said.

5. The gift of love, give someone a hug for Christmas

6. Groupon have some great offers…

7. Amazon well I don’t even have to leave the house? Maybe they will gift wrap..moon pig do….MOON PIG everyone at Christmas!

8. How about a Christmas Email?

9. Facebook shout out?

10. Instagram tag?

11. I’m desperate now. Time to get off your arse and sort it Hun! You can do it

It’s crazy this time of year but as a mum it is actually overwhelming because you have to think about everyone else and not just the kids. Actually my brain is struggling to function anyway. One thing I will say though, is that we stress so much about the wrong issues because deep down all that matters is the people we love and the time we spend together. This time of year can be tough and especially for people with lost loved ones. Cherish your family and practice gratitude everyday….

And if your stressed out just do it all online whilst your up in the night with the new born baby! It’s amazon’s prime time lol 😂

Jokes aside as long as my boys are smiling that will be enough for me, it’s all for them.

Enjoy December Folks!

Spread love and kindness in all the uncertainty in this world for what is life without love 🌍💕 xxx

Book Review: Lets Talk about your New Baby Brother or Sister By Helen A. Lacey

Book Review: Lets Talk about your New Baby Brother or Sister By Helen A. Lacey

She has only gone and done it again…written another beautiful book all about your new baby brother or sister.

Freddie has found it hard adjusting to having another baby around despite Monty being here for the past 8 months. Henry is very protective, it was hard for them to share my attention at first wish often resulted in a lot of crying. Showing Freddie this book has helped him, he is familiar with the baby in the pictures.

The Book is focused on a siblings guide for the next 24 months with their new baby brother or sister. It’s an important time as when a new baby arrives older siblings can often feel threatened. This book beautifully illustrates and explains the importance of the new role as big brother or sister and provides an interactive guide. What’s lovely as-well is that it is told from the babies perspective and gives a step by step guide to the milestones within the first 24 months.

The book encourages your child to part take in your new babies development and helps bonding for all the family. Would highly recommend

Freddie loved reading the book. Henry enjoyed reading the book to his brothers aswell. Monty loved telling his story

For the record I’m not expecting number 4 just yet (tbc…) but this book would definitely be something to consider

Stephy 💕

Did somebody say…Just Ask?

Did somebody say…Just Ask?

Did somebody say….Just Ask?

Why are we all so afraid to ask for help?

You need a dirty take away…you just eat so why not just ask? Imagine if it was that easy…like ordering a takeaway..a quick check of the menu and wayyhayy…there goes your bank balance….. but HELP! Most of the time…advice…is FREE and doesn’t put weight on.

I am terrible for it. I have an innate ability to just struggle on. I always have done. I see asking for help as a sign of weakness which is weird because I don’t think that of anyone else that asks for help, just me.

If I ask for help they will think I’m stupid, not good enough, she can’t cope. If I ask for help I have failed, I am unworthy and a fraud.

It isn’t the case. What’s the worst thing that can happen?…They say no, which is fine. So is it the fear of rejection?

Some days I wish I’d of just asked for help.

Henry has started school recently and I’m getting used to the whole school run. Its really tough with a 1 year old and 8 month old…I really wanted to make a good impression at the school gates but it’s hard to do that when ur dress is tucked inside your leggings and you have food in your hair! 🤣 one time id just had my lashes done..so I looked pretty together that day.

you will chat to your friends, text but will not go out the house for days because it’s easier to hide behind your sweet pictures.

ANTISOCIAL MEDIA has a lot to answer for.

They ask you..how are you today?

You say I’m Fine

( actually no I’m not fine. I know I look fit in my Instagram picture and I look like a mother of the year but I’ve just scrubed shit off the carpet this morning, fallen down the stairs, hit my head on the door, eaten 3 buns and cried hysterically for no reason what so ever) 😃

You say FINE, GREAT THANKS… you are literally on your knees. Sometimes you just need a chat and a hug to know your not going crazy 😘💕

Motherhood is really hard. Friendships and family are important and I know who my people are. They have my back no matter what.

My door is always open if anyone needs me. I may not know the answer but I will listen to you and make you a coffee. You are not on your own in this.

A special thank you to my friends this week! I needed help…and I asked them…and I didn’t need to cry about it lol…

what you reckon…Instagram worthy? (I have filtered? No? 🤣🤣🙌🏻)

Stephy 💕

So YOU want to be a mumblogger?

So YOU want to be a mumblogger?

So you want to be a mum blogger?

It’s coming up to my 1 year anniversary of my blog… Happy BLOGIVERSARY!!!!

I can’t believe I only started this blog one year ago and it has been such a fantastic experience. I would have never have thought it would take off like it did and I have been overwhelmed with love and support so thank you so much. Not only that but I would like to hope that it has helped some other mums out there who were struggling like I was.

What started off as a hobby basically to stop me from sinking into a depression, turned into a little obsession (that rhymes! Ha). I just went with it. It started to steadily grow, the next thing I knew I was networking with other mums and brands, running my own loop page and making money. I even started making money from advertising. I have advertised big brands such as Spec-savers, Vauxhall, Rescue Remedy. More recently, Hula Hoops, Bassets Vitamins and Hunter Official have asked to use one of my images.

The boys have repped for boutique companies such as Ruby-mae, Little Babe Boutique, Tiny Stunners and myself Abella eye wear (slightly cringe!)

My blog posts were getting out there as-well! One Author in particular reached out about publishing an article in his book. I was also blessed enough to be published on Baby, Bump and You! And have become part on an online blogging community.

I literally had no business or marketing experience what so ever and it wasn’t my intention to use it for financial gain but you can.

So how does an average house wife from Huddersfield with 3 kids manage to become insta-famous? (ok, not quite the Kardashian’s) I do get recognised in Sainsbury’s by the locals (who already know me)

If I can do it any one can!

…want to know how?

Hard work, time and dedication…and a few tricks…

For the most famous they already have their platform but for the general population you have to work at it,to build and become visible.

For anyone interested in using Instagram as a platform or blogging here are a few hints, tips and advice. (I am by all means no expert at this trust me)

1. Research and Reach out. initially, I researched other Mum blogs and messaged them for advice. One mum in particular was really helpful. She ended up on ITV This Morning with her triplet girls dressed the same as holly Wilby. She was such an inspiration and so down to earth. She advised me to get involved in ‘loops’.

2. Grow and gain more followers

Loops

These are how you can increase your followers and liaise with other accounts, in my case Mum bloggers. The idea is that it is one big community and you share in your growth together…it may seem strange but putting it simply.

more followers + more engagement = more money per post.

My favourites

-women follow loop

-coffee talk mamas

-fairymamaloop

Loops = followers

You can find out these on Instagram by typing in the search. A lot of mum bloggers specifically do loops so you can find them on their pages.

Taking part in loops allows you to gain more followers and become involved in engagement pods. These are groups put together so that you can share images and like each other’s posts allowing you to grow. The more growth the more visible you become on Instagram. Doing it this way is a lot more safer as you have more control on your audience and know you are getting authentic engagement.

You can pay for ‘ghost spots’ in Loops to increase your following without having to follow others but this can lead to unfollowing and a waste of your dollar to be honest. There are apps to track unfollowers and keep a track of who is engaging on your page. One in particular is called followers+ you can download it from apple. Be ready though because it can be soul destroying if people unfollow you and you can see it! I discovered this early on and found a few people I thought were friends unfollowing! Haha thanks! I bare no grudge but you have to have a thick skin and self-discipline to not get carried away with it.

Take it too seriously and personally = anxiety central!

Avoid this at all costs

3. The algorithm – Instagram algorithm is like a policing system making Instagram genuine and controlled. Therefore, it won’t let you grow to fast, like to many pictures etc

You have to be careful though, you don’t want to grow to fast too soon. All that happens is you end up with what is known as ‘ghost followers’ and you end up with a poor engagement rate.

Engagement rate is calculated on your first 15 posts, the amount of likes you have and the amount of followers.

Brands will look at your engagement rates

Words to become familiar with

1. Engagement rate

2. Followers

3. Stories

4. Content

5. Collab

6. Hashtags

7. Loops

Blog writing…

*Start your blog

-Wordpress is free (you can download the app from apple)

*Most important: ENJOY IT!

There is no point in doing it if you don’t enjoy.

To put it bluntly…if your doing it to compete then you are doing it for the wrong reasons and it is toxic!

Do it for you, it’s a marathon not a sprint.

People might have more followers, more likes but you can’t get obsessed with others. That’s not what it’s about, because in the grand scheme of things…does it really matter? Does anyone really care?…

Just concentrate on your account and it will be amazing! It’s your baby! Look after it…

*Use the right hashtags- hashtags can get your posts noticed! Thus increasing engagement…(£££)

Depending on your content use hashtags to target the audience you want to achieve

For example #toddlersofinstagram

#mumblogger

These are fab but used by the majority so using more local # can also help with visibility.

***************************************

When you become a parent it is so easy to forget who you are. Remember you are very capable so if you want to give it a bash go for it!

Life is taking me in a different direction now. I have recently become a student again! I’m really excited for the year ahead. I’m so proud of how far I have come since a one year ago. I had zero self-esteem and my confidence was rock bottom, in a rut and defeated.

You have to take control of your life and do something about it. You are the only one responsible for that.

I am in a much more positive place and looking forward to what the future holds. I feel like the luckiest woman in the world and so blessed to have an amazing family and support.

Here’s to the next year and wishing you all the best and for all your dreams to manifest 🙌🏻🎉💕

Happy blogging!…

Love Stephy 🙌🏻💕

‘Love a good knees up’ 🤣🙌🏻🖕🏻💕

Transitional crisis stage aka a dogs dinner

Transitional crisis stage aka a dogs dinner

Train your child like a dog they say? A documentary that’s on tonight and has brought about much controversy…what are your views?

I think it’s a mum who has just about tried anything to help and thought why the hell not? I suppose the use of positive reinforcement and reward could be of good use in a child’s development in some respect, other aspects of dog training perhaps not and surely we cannot compare our children to dogs!! How morally absurd, unethical and categorically unacceptable (are some views) call social services? …

An untrained dog will get over excited, pee everywhere, ruin your furniture, drool a lot, make a mess and leave little poo’s on the carpet… and toddlers don’t do that at some point in their little lives huh?!

I don’t agree with it, I don’t agree with training your kid like a dog. But I’m going to hear the girl out she might have some transferable skills.

Its very coincidental that this morning I’ve just had to purchase a tall pet/baby gate. I dunno what else to do to stop the kids running around the house at night and I don’t want to raise my voice anymore, when you loose it, it just doesn’t help the situation or help anyone, plus they thrive on your lack of control and laugh hysterically while trying to climb you and get you to play horse 🐎

For me I feel it is a very stressful time for our little family. The pressure is constant, probably heightened by the fact I’ve stopped taking Citalopram but I’m riding it out.

We have a lot going on at the minute

Henry starting school in September (kindergarten)

Freddie is climbing out the cot and climbing everywhere and jumping everywhere and throwing himself everywhere

Monty has being poorly and is teething, and weening

This combination is lethal. Having 3 children under 3 is very very hard. I estimated it would be, but I completely underestimated this stage. I did not see it coming. We are trying to keep it together as a family unit but it really is testing.

Our Third child in and you may be pleased to know that we finally have the child that does not sleep…yes the smugness is diminishing.

You may also like to know that my sturdy, fall proof nighttime routine that I had worked tirelessly to perfect has had some challenges lately to say the least.

Our now 18month old can no longer be contained within the cot and has taken to doing WWE stunts out of the cot frame onto the floor. My soon to be 3 year old has discovered he can open his bedroom door and come down stairs numerous times to finish conversations and ask the question ‘what are you doing’ and ‘mummy can I just’ we also have a 5 month old in the mix currently teething, getting over a chest infection and beginning to ween and NOT SLEEPING.

Its overwhelming that I once was in control of this sleep routine and now Im out of control and don’t have a clue what to do, these children are taking over I need to stay calm and gain order again somehow. I need super-nanny!

Can I get a lock on the bedroom door? I can’t contain them like ‘dogs’ can I?

Train your baby like a dog airs tonight on channel 4 8pm despite 1000s signing a petition to have it cancelled. Will you be watching tonight?

Should be very interesting…I fancy a change from the handmaids tail..it’s getting even more depressing if that can be true. It makes me realise that my life isn’t as hard as ofFred/ofJoseph. even though my face is pretty much like hers …most of the time now

Remember a child is for life, not just for Christmas and dogs too for that matter…

Positively Parenting

Positively Parenting

waiting positively for my smear test today (maybe I can keep my sunglasses on) 🤦‍♀️

Let’s face it they are pretty embarrassing, it’s not like it’s not the first time I’ve had to get my vagina out…I mean I have had three children 🤣 in case you forgot! There is just something about the dreaded smear test lol

BUT you must have it okay!…(yes get your smear test it saves lives even though it’s not very comfortable)

I haven’t blogged much recently

1. Because I’m knackered!

2. My brain cells are like mash potato because of number 1. 😂🤦‍♀️

3. We have been very busy on holidays etc so I can’t complain really!!! 🎉☀️

It’s abit sloppy I guess but Let’s be positive!!! 🙌🏻💕

Life is wonderful and amazing and I am the luckiest person on earth and I have everything and the most beautiful baby boys. I am in my reiki element the energy is flowing. I am my higher self. I am at peace and I am one with life and the world and living in love and love only…

That’s great but also unsustainable when you are living the human experience.

In its simplest form, day to day. I am just a person making the best of it…trying to loose weight…trying to support my husbands career…trying to see family…trying to see friends…trying to keep the house tidy…trying to keep on-top of the washing…trying to not feel down…trying to go to the gym…trying to sleep…trying not to get annoyed…trying not to get bored…trying to get out…trying to stay motivated.

adulting is hard work!

When did I turn into a 31 year old? When did I start moaning…all…the…time (okay maybe don’t answer that one) when did I become the nagging wife?! 🤦‍♀️ …what the hell

I never imagined myself with 3 kids in such a short space of time. Maybe God had some divine master plan for me? There must be something in that? I mean life rarely goes exactly how you planned, intended, imagined…

Somedays. I just don’t want to do it. I’m just not in the mood. I feel so tired, numb and overwhelmed that I have to do this, be responsible. I have to look after this family and sacrifice myself for them. It’s a blessing but I miss the selfish me…I really do. Is that bad to say? I still am abit selfish of course I am. I feel like I’m in a prison sometimes. I want to go out but I can’t… I’m just…too…tired and it feels really really flat. I miss working, I miss my career…I miss having a purpose other than feeding, changing nappies, cleaning food off the floor, dealing with tantrums, risk assessing

every.single.situation.

I went on a hen do recently and it was so good to just get out and be free and be myself. Classic me! I totally over did it…drinking and shots which I clearly can’t handle anymore, even went wild and smoked! (I know it’s terrible). Safe to say I was in a bad way the next day and didn’t get going till about 1600pm. I was lucky enough to stay at my sister in laws house, I would have not been able to Parent that day.

A lady I spoke to gave me some good tips on how to be a ‘positive parent’ and told me to check out positive parenting on facebook. I can positively say that in an ideal world it would make a lot of sense to be that, always. There were some interesting articles about 2 year olds and the terrible twos which helped me to look at things differently and cut the boys some slack in a way that they are just learning and finding their way. Especially Freddie, I keep thinking he is older than he is and buying clothes too big. Henry, on the other hand has been very challenging lately when its comes to eating food. I suppose it’s just a phase and he’s learning his likes and dislikes. He has also developed a little attitude to saying no mostly but when I try discipline him with ‘do you want to go to your room to bed?’ …he says YES mummy! 🙈 what are you supposed to do? ‘Eat your peas or go sit on the stairs OKAY I sit on stairs mummy.’ 😬 ….Try ignoring the bad behaviour?…my little Monty I have to say is the most perfect well behaved charming little baby and no trouble at all so I am very lucky!

A lot of the positive parenting focuses on everything that I have and shouldn’t be doing including bribes and losing my frustration. Trying to stay calm is very difficult sometimes and I feel guilty a lot because I feel like all I am saying is no don’t do that, please stop that, no stop throwing, stop sitting on your brother, stop hanging off the door handles, stop drinking the bath water 🤣🤣

Don’t be fooled by the angelic appearances!

After the hen do blow out (which was much needed). I can honestly say that I missed the boys (including Tom) so much (I know it sounds so soppy). you want to get away and have some peace and soon as you do you want to be right back where you belong…(and after 5 minutes of screaming and crying your wishing you enjoyed your freedom that little bit more haha…) when is the next night out again? Next year?

I have grown up since becoming a mum, you have to. When Henry was born I was so desperately fighting against being an ‘adult’. I was always a bit like that. Giving off the impression of a pampered princess! The truth is I was truly spoilt, we never had loads of money growing up but we were always loved and had most things we wanted. It wasn’t always like that though, there were some really dark times when my parents divorced and growing up, it was difficult.

Having your own children often brings to light past Traumas and also makes you reflect on what your parents must have gone through themselves becoming parents. You stop being the child and you become a person,an adult. They become people just like you and not just mum and dad. My parents were so young when they had me and my sister! Must have been hard. I guess all that is a story for another day.

Although not always positive. I am so Happy, sometimes bored of being sensible, but happy. Sometimes you feel bad because there is nothing wrong with your life but you can feel sad. It could just be a phase as Monty is only 4 months and my body is still recovering. Maybe I’m doing too much and overdoing it, who knows.

It’s a lot less hectic than things were in my 20s and I don’t think I would want to do that again. I feel so much more sure of myself and confident but it has also made me reflect on relationships and friendships that have not always being good for me. I feel more confident in owning my opinions and walking away from unnecessary drama. I enjoy feeling somewhat established and settled with my family, it’s what Ive always wanted.

It’s not always easy and it’s not always Christmas Day….but most days are fun! And somedays are tough but that’s family life. We stick together and support one another.

Having been away recently with friends, it was very rewarding to be told how well behaved they thought our boys were. I felt very proud and also baffled. As their mum I think I worry far too much what others think sometimes and almost strive for perfection as I am naturally a perfectionist. But actually it made me stop and think, she was right they are well behaved, lovely, polite little boys that sometimes liked to throw food and numerous other objects at each other. I guess there is something positive that I must be doing something right? Even though it doesn’t feel like it? I’m positive I’m doing my very best and I think as a parent that’s all you can do. so Whatever tips you read, articles, blogs. It’s all advice…take it or leave it but you know what is best for your kids and your family so believe in yourself. Xxx

Three:One

Three:One

Three times as tired

Three times as hard

Three times as divided

A survivor so far

Three times the fun

Three times the cheer

Three times the laughter

Also so much fear

Three times the nappies

Three times the smells

Three times the mess

Sometimes it feels like hell

Three times in ore

Three times overwhelmed

Three times consumed

In all the things you do

When all is said and done, three times!, it’s lots of fun.

Three little boys blessed from above, unconditionally adored by

One Mothers Love